Long delays in your decision to seek couples counseling can make counseling less likely to be effective. The reason is simple: As time passes you adapt to and cope with unhealthy relationship patterns. Eventually, your reflexes will go on autopilot. You can change reflexes, and the methods for doing so are time-tested, but delay will require more effort, time, and cost. To make needed changes, you will experience more setbacks. This frustration means more thoughts about giving up, increasing risk for dropping out. Marital conflict doesn't mean failure. Two brilliant, mentally healthy people in a relationship can have tough conflict. Couples counseling is about satisfying, enriching, and building back up a cooperative relationship. There's psychology involved, sure, but there's no mystery. Start honestly and avoid using couples counseling as a last-resort or as a half-hearted way to validate a decision you've already made to leave. You'll then do the hard work for the big reward of making the changes needed and acquiring the relationship you desire.