Relationship It took a long time - but you did it. You left a relationship that was unhealthy or abusive. Healing takes time - and everyone's experience is different, so be patient in this journey. Start by visiting a domestic violence advocate at your local DV program or an EAP counselor for an assessment or some short-term counseling/coaching on the healing process. Beyond talking about your expectations, it might help you to focus as well on the following goals for yourself, each of which will help repair, replenish, and reestablish a healthier you. 1. Examine your sense of self-efficacy, in other words, your beliefs about your abilities. Self-efficacy can suffer in abusive relationships, which leads to doubting your ability to succeed in your life. 2. Discover the life skill of "living in the moment." This is retraining how you think in order to help you move away from fearing the future. 3. Practice paying attention to personal needs -- whether diet, exercise, or stress management - and begin affirming rather than postponing these needs. Remember, self-nurturing aids self-healing. 4. Start catching negative self-talk and reversing it into positive affirmations and reassurance. Some negative self-talk may be linked with guilt at falling in relationships. Take your positivity shears and nip these in the bud. 5) Many people healing from trauma find power in journaling. Give it a test to see whether it works for you. Wellness is a journey, and life skills like the ones above are the tools for making the trip.